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I was seriously looking for a nice, down-to-earth guy that had similar interests and was looking for a nice, normal girl. This is an excerpt of an email I sent to all my friends after the date from hell. Profile: Mr Mc Steamy Wants children: Yes College: Cornell Works in: Finance Drinking: Socially Salary: I'll tell you later What he wants: 5'0' to 5'9', smart, inquisitive, fun-loving girl to share life with."We met at Coffee Shop in Union Square. He agreed, and we planned to meet at Penn Station to the bar together."I get there and can't find him anywhere, so I call his phone. I was shocked into stoned silence and didn’t say or do anything, not even when my date started sobbing quietly in the cop car."At the precinct where I spent three hours of my life, my date was herded into a man’s holding cell with a few Rastafarians while I sat alone in the women’s cell. We end up going to Lucky Strike in Soho where he orders a fancy bottle of wine, and proceeds to tell me that he just graduated from Columbia, won an award for ‘entrepreneur of the year,’ and is starting a clothing line. We talk for a few minutes and he asks me to write my email in one of the pages, while he looks away, and when he gets to it, he’ll email me. We part ways and I think, ‘Wow that was easy.’"Fast-forward to a week later when this guy emails me to meet up for a drink. He followed me out, and walked with me for several blocks, talking about a website for meat I just had to check out.""Mardi Gras, New York City, 2008—I was on what I'd presumed at the time to be a very nice second date, with a very nice guy I'd met a couple weeks before. If a train were going 30 miles per hour, how how long would it take to get to Washington, D. After 45 minutes of this, when I politely refused a second drink, he ordered another drink anyway and proceeded to chat my ear off for over an hour, until I finally said that I needed to go and made a dash for the door.

We'd been on a respectfully sweet-'n'-romantic first date the weekend before, so I was looking forward to a mature, non-sleazy evening with my mid-thirties, microfinancing gentleman caller (we'll call him 'Steve').

But because we love sharing our deepest innermost feelings and desires with YOU, we've asked you, our Big Apple readers, to submit your worst (albeit best! To make sure you're not sweating the prospect of being single forever, we've narrowed down our favorites (or least favorites, depending on how you look at it) to eight tales so truly horrific, you'll be ready to swear off men forever (plus accompanying artwork from The Blake Wright). 'Me: 'I normally drink Champagne, but I heard the Mojitos are great here, so I will go with that.' Him:'I'm on my fourth cup of coffee.'Me: 'Oh, rough night last night? Yes, that’s right, he showed up in full Civil War garb complete with a pipe and a gruff, antiquated speech pattern. ' I didn’t really hear from him after that, except for a text telling me that he lost his i Pod on the field, to which I replied, 'bummer.'""I met him on Ok Cupid. He invited me to meet him for drinks and asked me for a bar suggestion.

Okay, that's a lie, but click through to read first-person tales*—from a literal blind date to a Civil War fanatic—that you'll be sharing again and again. Or do."We all know that meeting in NYC can be difficult, and since I have lost count of the numerous people I know that have met on JDate or Match.com, I signed myself up on a dating site. The idea of being 'punked' crossed my mind, but it was clear that Henry, a cute, IT guy by day, was living in an era gone-by, when, as we exited to barhop over to R bar, he paused to light his pipe while cursing the 'blasted wind,' and began to tell a ghost story from the reenacted battlefields."And as he said goodbye to me and opened my cab door like a gentlemen, he asked for a second date. He seemed great, an engineer, 5'10" with dark brown hair, lives close by, very smart. Seeing as we are both Yankees fans, I asked him if he'd like to head to a sports bar to watch a game.

' Confused, I murmured a feeble no, at which point Steve took my not-running-and-screaming-from-the-room as a thumbs-up, and proceeded to elaborate for the next hour-and-a-half on his titillating 'clowning' lifestyle: His exotic fishnet inventory ('Hot pink vs.

'They had a grope-a-clown there, too, but she had made it with an umbrella and garbage bags—not like the usual cardboard box.' He turned his attention to me—'You ever clown up?

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